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Homeless Man Calls 9-1-1, Needs Hot Cocoa And Hug

Geekogle — Thu, 02 Sep 2010 16:13:16 +0000

If you’re homeless, there is a good chance you’re not reading this, because you don’t have Internet, or.. you know, a home. Which really is a shame, because a crazy homeless dude could have taken a tip from us: Don’t call 9-1-1 to tell them you need a hug, they are going to arrest you. I know, it’s hard to believe, but calling the police on your own crazy ass has it’s disadvantages, as this Oregon bum learned.

Mark Eskelsen called emergency dispatchers from his cell phone about 7:10 a.m. Sunday, identified himself as “the sheriff of Washington County,” and asked for medical help.

“I’ve been yelling for about an hour and a half,” Eskelsen said.

But the dispatcher already knew that. Neighbors had called 9-1-1, concerned about the man bellowing from a fence-surrounded pool in the 15000 block of Southwest Village Lane.

Eskelsen said he had been sitting in the water for about 10 hours. His towels had gotten wet, and his fingers looked like prunes.

“I just need a hug and a warm cup of hot chocolate with marshmallows in it,” he told the dispatcher.

You can listen to the dispatch audio by clicking here, and enjoy the hilarity on this fine Thursday afternoon. I hope you got your hug and hot cocoa, buddy.

Source: OregonLive

4chan Terrorizes Woman Who Throws Cat In Garbage Bin

Geekogle — Wed, 25 Aug 2010 15:48:56 +0000

If you’ve never gone to 4chan, and you’re over the age of 40, you probably should just blacklist the entire site now, especially /b/. That being said, when “the collective” puts their mind to something, shit usually hits the fan, and by that I mean peoples lives are ruined. If you haven’t heard, a few days ago a closed captioned surveillance camera caught a (now identified as Mary Bale, 50, of Coventry, England) woman casually petting a neighborhood cat, then throwing said cat into a garbage bin. The Internet, and even more importantly local residents, were outraged. They wanted blood, literally. Mary received countless death threats to both her and her place of work, and is now in police protective custody. That was probably a good move, honestly.

Let’s back up a step to what exactly happened between the time the cat was thrown into the bin (which Mary claims was a joke), and now. If you have been to 4chan and are aware that the anonymous vigilantes there are perfectly dubbed “the best and worst spot on the Internet”, then you know it’s the type of place hopes and dreams go to die. However when they decide to be angered, they are a force to be reckoned with, and not to be trifled with. It took only a few hours from when the video was posted for the hounds of 4chan to identify the person in the video. A few hours after that, they had plastered the boards with not only her name, but where she worked, her phone number, the name of her boss, her Facebook profile, her home address, and a google map locating it.

Mary Bale, you dun goofed.

Source: 4chan, Boing Boing

KA-CHA! Get All Ninja-y On Rainy Days

Geekogle — Tue, 24 Aug 2010 16:40:50 +0000

In the fight against drizzle and crappy weather, there can be only one victor. If you’re like us, you often get rain in your part of the country. What better way to combat the forces of evil precipitation than by getting your grubby little hands on one of these bad boys. It’s an umbrella, it has a samurai sword hilt, and it is indeed awesome. Prices range from $20 for the Tanto short version to $30 for the full on, face slicing, super badass Katana version. Both come with a nylon scabbard for wearing it around your waist like a true swordsman, push-button release, and is guaranteed to get you the ladies. Click the jump for a few more shots, or just go for the gusto and click the source to order one, or twelve.

Source: ThinkGeek (order here!)

Artist Spotlight: The Conceputal Art of Robert Carter

Geekogle — Thu, 19 Aug 2010 16:28:22 +0000

Robert Carter is an award winning illustrator and digital/standard format painter residing in Ontario, Canada. Born in St. Albans, England, he graduated from Sheridan College of Art and Design in 2002. Robert’s art combines a strong portraiture theme with a fascinating visual and conceptual undertones. The end result is a vibrant and atmospheric illustration ranging from stylized realistic to surreal. Hit the jump for 10 more of his amazing work, or click the source link for his online portfolio.

Source: Cracked Hat Illustrations (Artist Website)

The End Is Neigh! Concept Sketch of Mecha Shark-Rex

Geekogle — Wed, 18 Aug 2010 20:17:25 +0000

DeviantArt user Heckthor has foretold the death of all mankind. Do you see that picture down there? It’s a god forsaken shark AND t-rex ALL IN ONE! I’m not sure you all understand the gravity of the situation my friends. What are you going to do when this mother comes after you and wants to make you it’s bitch, hmm? Run? Ha, the t-rex can run up to 40 MPH at top speed. You just died. Oh, you’re going to hop in a speed boat instead? Obviously, since its mechanical, you’re safe in the water. Then BAM, you’re in two pieces feeding the fishes since a standard great white shark can swim over 25 MPH, much faster than you can get that little boat out of port. Those red eyes are fitting. Click the source for all of his posted works, which some, as I initially imagined, are equally scary. Click the image for a full size view if you think your heart can take it. We’re all doomed.

Source: Heckthor’s Deviantart Page

Istanbul Ice Creamery Serves Up Delicious Wizardry

Geekogle — Tue, 17 Aug 2010 16:03:51 +0000

Maras style ice cream is sold via street vendors and small stands in Turkey and Instanbul as both a delicious treat and a show for the masses. This unfortunate (or fortunate if you’re into some dude messing with you) Japanese student gets a front stage performance when he tries to get some ice cream from a well known vendor in the Maras Dondurmasi area of Istanbul. It sure beats paying $4 a scoop at your local ice cream shop from a nerdy, acne-ridden teenager who likes to spit in your chocolate chunk. I saw that you little punk! Fool me once, shame on me. Fool me twice, I’ll kick your scrawny little ass!

Source: YouTube

Inkless Pen Draws Attention. See What I Did There?

Geekogle — Mon, 16 Aug 2010 15:22:49 +0000

Picture this- You’re in a coffee shop, sipping on your favorite drink (which is most likely a caramel steamer, since we all know you’re too much of a pansy to order a coffee). Your eyes roam over the patrons of the cafe and you spot a lovely girl sitting in the corner. She locks eyes with you.. you turn away in embarrassment. She casually gets up, gathers her things, and walks by your table to leave, discretely dropping a small note on your table. The note reads “Do you like me?”, and there are “Yes” and “No” check box. You quickly search your bag for a pen. Finding one, you scribble on the “Yes” box. Nothing appears. Only after scribbling in frantic circles to try and get the ink flowing again do you realize the pen is out of ink. You fool! She had waited outside for you to respond and you just blew it. She’s gone.

You vowed never again to let a chance like this slip away, and you bought an inkless metal pen from vat19 that same day.

The “ink” is actually pure lead and, when used on paper, resembles pencil graphite, except it’s smudge-proof and permanent. No eraser is going to work on this bad boy. It even writes on glossy paper and upside down! Since the pen only releases tiny amounts of metal onto the page, it will actually last a lifetime without sharpening or running out. All this, wrapped in a classy stainless steel shaft for only $28. I just ordered a dozen.

Source: Vat19

Pac-Man Can’t Win Against Zombie Ghosts

Geekogle — Fri, 30 Jul 2010 19:33:51 +0000

Poor realistic-ish Pac-Man. He never saw Inky coming up behind him before it was too late. Who knew that when one of the ghosts finally caught our beloved arcade hero, they were zombies? Talk about a ~~cherry~~ twist in that story. Whoever the artist is (please email us using our contact form so we can give credit), thank you for the nightmares of brain nom’ing zombie ghosts, whose only weakness is power-up dots at each corner of the map. Oh look, there’s one. You’re mine, Clyde! Muahahhaha! Click the image for the full sized version.

Source: Unknown

It’s My Party, I’ll Have Straws If I Want To

Geekogle — Fri, 30 Jul 2010 17:11:16 +0000

So who cares if most of the people around the office can’t drink out of a bottle without getting half the contents all over themselves. It doesn’t make them less of a person. It just makes them half-retarded. Oh, sorry, is ‘retarded’ not politically correct these days? How about just ‘stupid as shit’? So why not give them a birthday or Christmas present they can really enjoy and put to good use? It’s the least you could do for calling them retarded earlier. What? You think I said that word? You’re obviously delusional my friends. Meet me out back behind the monkey bars after gym class and we’ll settle this like real men. Just don’t touch the face. It’s my meal ticket baby!

The BottleBob punches holes in the tops of both plastic and metal bottle caps, allowing you to perfectly fit a straw into the top. No more spills, no more mess. Created by the great minds of Core77, and sold via the Epauletshop (source) for only $21. That’s a small price to pay for not getting soda on your shirt. Trust us.

Source: Core77, Epauletshop (buy here)

Marshmallow Shooters: Fun And Delicious

Geekogle — Mon, 26 Jul 2010 19:41:29 +0000

Hi folks, Geekogle here. Are you too pale to go out in the sun? Too much of a pansy to go paintballing? Well have I got a product for you! ThinkGeek has a new version of their obscenely popular Marshmallow Gun that holds more ammo, and shoots farther, for hours upon hours of sniping fun. It’s the perfect gift for yourself, your friends, or your co-workers. Just remember; It’s all fun and games until someone loses an eye. Then it’s fun and games, just someone can’t see very well. Open target!

Now you might be asking yourself, “Holy moley Geekogle, shut up and tell me where I can buy 12 of these mothers!” Well, we’re getting to that, but here are some quick features you might like. If you don’t like them, you can go to hell.

Gun will shoot both mini marshmallows or included “soft pellets”!

Shoots up to 30 feet!

20 pellets or marshmallows per clip!

30 feet, 20 marshmallows. I’d like to see god himself create a better gun that is both fun and delicious, all for $20. He can’t, trust me. I’ve asked. Both ThinkGeek and the manufacturer say to never, under any circumstances, eat the mini marshmallows after shooting them, we’re pretty sure you can bump up the 5 second rule to at least a minute and a half. Mmmm.. floor candy.