If you’re homeless, there is a good chance you’re not reading this, because you don’t have Internet, or.. you know, a home. Which really is a shame, because a crazy homeless dude could have taken a tip from us: Don’t call 9-1-1 to tell them you need a hug, they are going to arrest you. I know, it’s hard to believe, but calling the police on your own crazy ass has it’s disadvantages, as this Oregon bum learned.

Mark Eskelsen called emergency dispatchers from his cell phone about 7:10 a.m. Sunday, identified himself as “the sheriff of Washington County,” and asked for medical help.

“I’ve been yelling for about an hour and a half,” Eskelsen said.

But the dispatcher already knew that. Neighbors had called 9-1-1, concerned about the man bellowing from a fence-surrounded pool in the 15000 block of Southwest Village Lane.

Eskelsen said he had been sitting in the water for about 10 hours. His towels had gotten wet, and his fingers looked like prunes.

“I just need a hug and a warm cup of hot chocolate with marshmallows in it,” he told the dispatcher.

You can listen to the dispatch audio by clicking here, and enjoy the hilarity on this fine Thursday afternoon. I hope you got your hug and hot cocoa, buddy.

Source: OregonLive

I feel very hippi-ish today. Don’t you? Let’s go out and hug trees, frolic on the grassy knoll, eat berries and grow some wicked awesome beards! Wow, now that I think about it, that actually doesn’t sound fun at all. In any case, take Plaza Cleaners in Portland Oregon. The picture below is a standard sign that was put up by the owners to promote the business and give back to the community. Oregon unemployment rates are still one of the highest in the country. It’s nice to see a local business giving back in the best way they know how, clean your filthy laundry. Seriously, I can smell it from here. If you’re in the Portland area, please click the link below to visit their website, drop some clothes off, and when you’ve got that nicely starched (light starch please) shirt, walk into that interview and I make a personal guarantee that you will get hired.*

Ha! See what I did there, I posted the date YESTERDAY! I’m so clever.

Source: www.plazacleaners.net

Now before you judge, I’d like to say I don’t smoke pot (you hear that mom!), nor do I condone it outside of legitimate medical reasons. I am posting this for two reasons. One, I think it’s about time the local and federal legislation got a little more relaxed. And two, I live in Oregon, and it doesn’t surprise me in the least with the amount of hippies that live here. You know I love you, you tree hugging crazies.

Two smoke shops are going to be opened in the Portland area, which will give medical marijuana smokers a place to “socialise and medicate” in a safe environment. These are the first legally opened shops in the country since the federal government noted they will not arrest or prosecute patients or suppliers.

The two shops, named the Cannabis Cafe (Opening Nov. 13th) and Highway 420 (Opened Oct. 1st), will be operated and sanctioned by the National Organisation for the Reform of Marijuana. While California has already opened dispensaries, Oregon is the first to open lounges where people can socialise while being medicated safely and legally.

You must be a member of the Oregon Medical Marijuana Program as either a patient, caregiver, or grower to enter the building, and you cannot purchase medical marijuana at the shops themselves, as it must be purchased via standard medical dispensaries.

Source: www.oregonlive.com, also thanks to Ky B. for the news tip, who totally gets his weed legally. Suuureee he does.